PATCO-litical Correctness and the Editors


PhiladelphiaInquirer - Copy.jpg

(They reversed their original decision to print my very light satire on
their transit system… but they’ll quickly print a piece on sleaze, gore,
and hate
Hmm… here’s my response.)

PATCO-litical Correctness and the Editors

To its editors, a poem about our transit system
Depicting shortcomings and an errant way
My recent offering… hopefully humorous
No real screwing from me, just foreplay

All things considered, I gave a light scolding
A wrist-slapping and a tiny taking to task
I kept it honest, reflecting comments overheard
Using wit and rhyming nature in which to bask

First, I mentioned those rude riders’ loud noises
As they wedge against, or occupy the whole seat
And I took note of oblivious backpack slammers
And “normal” offensive smells to some offbeat

Second, I didn’t focus on just riders causing ire
But reviewing the train ride itself as a critique
From nauseous, quick stops and shake-a-quake
Adding conductors’ indecipherables to my pique

That setup out of the way, and be that as it may
Allow me to reveal the issue of my discontent
It’s not so much my poem’s rejection I reject
But their forced righteousness that has me bent

Before the rejection, the publisher offered praise
Claimed it was good satire and made them laugh
We discussed next steps and rise up the flagpole
But a short time later, that flag was at half staff

A poem they readily decreed as primetime-ready
And quickly categorized as publish-preferential
Was suddenly and unceremoniously cold-cocked,
Editor-ravaged, from print it now to unessential

A once stalwart print publication, a lion in news
Pulitzer-privy, objective, fearless of consequence
Now impotent, weak, with thorns in the Left paw
But you were “a bit concerned” with my contents?

My contents, simply, a transit system enlightening
A front-and-center spoof in a non-threatening way
As editors shook my virtual hand, winked, blinked
Then, killed more a poetic parody than an expose

YOU… a premier publisher! Lauded and applauded
What happened? So shackled, bent, no longer erect
Once, bold and crossing that line… now towing it
Today, old, controlled, crippled, politically correct

Political correctness… rampant… suffocating us
Envelopes YOU now… and it wasn’t how you were
But your identity is safe with me, free speech aside
I’ll just say, you start with “I” and end in Inquirer

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