It Was Fast and Cheap

Back when fast food restaurants were prominently emerging (McDonalds, Gino’s, Burger Queen, Roy Rogers), there was an unwritten pact with them: you give us our food fast, inexpensively, and we’ll help by bringing our own trash to the trashcans. But I feel as though that pact has been broken.  So-called fast food and its service … Continue reading It Was Fast and Cheap

Radio Station Traffic Reports

Radio stations that allow tractor-trailer air-horn sound effects during a traffic report should be against FCC regulations. That's the last thing us listeners need to hear as we’re trying to safely negotiate our way from three lanes into one (because of the daily, obligatory, jack-knifed truck... which is another story in itself). My question to the geniuses that put … Continue reading Radio Station Traffic Reports

Local Morning News Programs

What is it with local morning newscasts? All the anchors are happy, happy, happy. One big, fake happy family. While the male anchor tells his obligatory corny jokes... over and over... as he's ganged-up on by the females on the set. Such an "unpredictable" format. Also, don't hold your breath waiting for science, tech, hardcore economic news, or … Continue reading Local Morning News Programs

Graduation Ceremonies

These very long, sometimes steamy events (since they're almost always in June) can be atrocious. Nothing in these ceremonies are short, the speeches are predictable, the acoustics are indecipherable, and they usually include those loud, rude, self-centered, screeching, whooping, big-hatted mama-people to boot. Then, there's the diploma handout ceremony itself ... as 900 students stand … Continue reading Graduation Ceremonies

Ramped up Disclaimers in Radio Commercials

What is it with those radio commercials that seem normal - until when the last five seconds are ramped up to warp speed (or 17x the speed of an auctioneer's chant). This vexing, new phenomenon seems isolated to the part of the commercial reserved for the product's disclaimer language, and apparently deemed not necessary for … Continue reading Ramped up Disclaimers in Radio Commercials

Political Statements from Actors

Some individuals in this make-believe world might be good at what they do, but I do NOT want to hear an actor's so-called thoughts on political matters. Unless the actor was a former politician, it's akin to my plumber offering his wisdom on Internal Medicine (unless, of course, he was a former cardiologist). Okay, Mr. … Continue reading Political Statements from Actors

Backpacks

Listen to me, you new generation of elephantine-sized backpack people: when you wear a backpack that's large enough to fit only one of them in the cargo-hold of a plane, you need to be more aware of its presence while wearing it. When you turn your body while wearing that monstrosity in a crowd of people, … Continue reading Backpacks

Joke-buster Restaurant Wait Staff

Something needs to be done about the wait staff in restaurants that stop by to check on you 47 times during the first course alone.  That being said, checking on us as we negotiate the difference between Koa Pad Lin Gee and Shui Zhu Yu is one thing. But, I will not be held responsible the next … Continue reading Joke-buster Restaurant Wait Staff

Self-Serving GG’s

Occasionally, my lovely family has a habit of self-serving gift giving. That is, they purchase what they need and disguise it as a gift for me. Example: my wife and son chipped in and purchased a pneumatic car jack, which my sometimes car engine-tinkering son needed. They gave it to me as a Christmas gift … Continue reading Self-Serving GG’s

My Wife’s Bath Towels

For some inexplicable reason, my wife, as her mother before her, keeps bath towels until they practically disintegrate. Then, when the towels are no longer usable for drying yourself after a shower, they gain new life as dust rags. Currently, there's a threadbare bath towel in the linen closet you can use as a strainer.