The Holiday Decorations People

I don’t understand the reasoning for putting up holiday decorations weeks or even months before the actual holiday. Lately, I’ve seen Halloween decorations before summer’s end, Thanksgiving before Halloween, and Christmas before Thanksgiving. WHY????? What is the goddam rush?

Listen to me you ubiquitous jump-the-gun holiday decorations people … when you decorate, say, in October for Christmas, by the time Christmas is here, people in your neighborhood are sick of your annoying lights display they’ve seen 1,000 times already. Christmas lights are supposed to be magical, special, inspiring, but NOT IN OCTOBER, dumbass! When I was a kid, we put a modest Christmas light display up on Christmas Eve, and it was beautiful. Anticipatory. Wonderful.

I’m not done yet. And … that … torturous … music. When your lawn speakers are playing Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire before Halloween, I want to roast you. Not on a dais … but on a spit.